It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
