he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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