She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
