Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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