i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
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