Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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