do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
