normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
