We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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