This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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