Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
