every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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