Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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