I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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