Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
