At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
