Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
