Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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