I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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