I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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