My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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