I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
