He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
