Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
