lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
