Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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