I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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