my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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