I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
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This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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