writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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