I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize