If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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