I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i need some magic done to my vagina
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
