It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize