I just saw a hot homeless man
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
