so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
