dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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