we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The Olympian is in my bed
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
