Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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