Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
