just come out here and I will go home with you...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
