he puts the penis in happiness.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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