In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
