trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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