Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
