just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
