She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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