I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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