Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
