Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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