now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
