the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
