the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
