I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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