Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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