i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
