I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
