So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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