if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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