you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
