So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think my moral compass just broke
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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