smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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