omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do vagina's smell?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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