It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
