i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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